My mom got me this shiRT AND I AM LAUGHING SO HARD SHE DOESNT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT SHES DONE SHE DOESNT GET THE IRONY IN THIS I AM A CLOSETED LESBIAN THIS IS COMEDY GOLD I MIGHT COME OUT TO HER OVER THIS FUCKING SHIRT JUST TO EXPLAIN WHY I CANT STOP LAUGHING
UPDATE: When I told her I’m gay she crossed her arms and said in a really pissed off voice “Are you telling me I spent $15 on that shirt for nothing??”
i wanna get hot and fit and healthy but like i dont wanna stop living off junk food and watching tv shows and sleeping until 4pm ya feel me
Me: “dad am i adopted?”
Dad:no, ur David. why woud anyone name you ‘Adopted’? even if we wanted to, ur name was alredy David when we adopted you
I wonder if there’s any Flappy Bird fanfiction…
I think that’s enough adventure for today.
This is why we can’t have nice things in Canada
thats easy to solve… just generate a blacklist of combinations that should never happen like “you retard” anything with curses, and just have the generator check the list to see if it is on there or not.
Eventually we’re just gonna have to accept “ducking” as a swear word
what the fuck how is he putting his arm through the cat and it doesn’t even care
You clearly don’t own a cat
An infinite amount of multiverses and I had to get stuck in the one without superheroes
when you see a hot person
when u cum before u get to ur favorite part of the video
when ur carrying 2 plastic bags and both of them break at the same time
i’m not sure what just happened but it feels in balance….
those songs that start in one earbud and flow into the next